Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, with a super long to-do list? Too much information, too much to keep track of… too much on your mind! And when your days are already so full, you couldn’t possibly think about adding GOALS to it? Is this you?
You are not going to WANT to hear this, but… Here’s one of my favorite sayings by Gloria Steinem
“The Truth will Set you Free
But first it will Piss you Off!”
Here it goes! …..
Everything that you have on your plate was either PUT there by you
or accepted by you!
You have control over your own life, and knowing this, you can take ownership of your time and responsibilities. It’s time to eliminate some of the things that are ‘on your plate’ that are not absolutely necessary, and that do not make you happy.
To figure this out, take out a piece of paper and do a Brain dump! Write down ALL of the things that you need to get done, all of the committees and boards you are on, all of the tasks and responsibilities you have on a day to day basis.
Are there things that you are doing that someone else could do instead? You need to especially determine what things are on your plate that you don’t LIKE doing? I guarantee there is someone out there who loves doing the things you hate, and can do them very well! Delegate these tasks!
Once you have everything written out in front of you, see if there are some things that you’ve wanted to complete but know you just aren’t going to get around to them. Take your pen and cross them off!!! Delete them! It feels so good! You can always add them back on whenever you want! But for now, your mission is to downsize this list and make it more manageable.
Are there things on your list that are just tedious little chores that you’ve been putting off for a long time but you know will only take a few minutes to complete? Get up from your chair and DO them! Get as many things off your plate as you can, and free up your mind!
Are there any ‘open loops’? People who are waiting on you for something… people who owe you money, or you owe money too… People you need to return something to or get something back from them that you’ve lent them? Take action to deal with these situations within the next few days.
What is most important to you right now? Whatever your answer, how much time do you actually spend on this? For example, if you say your ‘family’ is the most important thing in your life and you are so busy with work that you hardly even see them, then this is a blaring sign that something is not right with your priorities.
Your actions will always speak louder than your words.
You are either Consciously saying “No” to the things that Don’t matter to you,
or you are Unconsciously saying “No” to the things that DO!
~ Rory Vaden
From now on, when someone calls you and asks if you can help them out, or if you are asked to be on another committee, etc, instead of automatically saying “Sure!”, give yourself a moment to respond! Take a deep breath, and then say something along these lines, “Thank you for thinking of me. I’m truly honored! At this time I am focusing on spending more time with my family and need to be careful not to take on too much, so I will have to say ‘no’. I’m sure you will find someone who will do a wonderful job of this for you.”
Another approach is to get ‘curious’ and learn to take more TIME before accepting to do something! Ask a lot of questions. “How many people have you asked so far?” “ Why did you think of me?” When do you need this done?” and then consider for yourself, “What’s shall I take off my plate in order to fit this in?” “Does this align with my values and what’s important to me right now in MY life?” They may just say “Oh never mind, I can see that you’ve got a lot going on. I’ll just find someone else.”
And you know what? The world doesn’t end! They don’t go away hating you! And they WILL find someone else! When you take a moment to really think about what is important in your life, you can make more calculated decisions and not just agree to helping everyone, and doing whatever anyone asks of you. You will then be able to spend more time doing the things that make YOU happy, and bring you closer to achieving your goals. Your life will be so much more fun! And you won’t have any regrets… and the rotten feeling that nags you “WHY did I say I would DO that!!!? I don’t have TIME for this!!!”
What do you have on your mind or on your To-Do list
that will feel SO good, to say “No” to today?
Do it! Let us know what it was, and how you feel getting it off your plate!